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> INSIDE NASCAR
March
3, 2007
On
the Road to San Antonio
In Search of the Next NASCAR Star
By Dennis Michelsen
The NASCAR beat is not for me! A few years ago I tried
it on a part time basis, which was very interesting. But
after witnessing the zoo up close and personal I gained
respect for the insanity that accompanies the NASCAR Nextel
Cup traveling circus. There are so many great writers
on the NASCAR beat I decided to spend most of my time
in search of future stars. Last season I introduced fans
to Alex Kennedy from New Mexico, James Buescher from Texas,
and Landon Cassill from Iowa. All three earned the title
Star of Tomorrow and I am proud with the performance of
each of them in the past year! But before you can report
on the next rising NASCAR star you have to get to the
track. This is the tale of the story behind the story
as I go on the road to San Antonio to cover the ASA Late
Model Series opener.
Starting
Point: Chicago Illinois
Home Sweet Home
Don't
Like the Weather Just Drive a Few More Miles
March decided to come in like a lion for my first racing
trip of the season. Leaving Chicago Thursday morning I
ran into a wicked mix of snow, rain, and sleet! Thankfully
temperatures were just above freezing and the army of
salt trucks kept the roads in pretty good shape. As Chicagoland
disappeared in the rear view mirror the precipitation
changed to all rain and lots of it. This is where my advanced
training in meteorology came in handy because seeing this
mess on the charts I prepared for battle with new wiper
blades and Rain X to the max! Further down the road I
managed to skirt past the edge of a severe thunderstorm,
the lightning show magnificent out the windshield but
thankfully to the left of center. Crosswinds were gusting
to 45mph making it an adventure to dance around the swaying
eighteen-wheelers! You have to love spring in the Midwest!
So why did I endure such dangerous weather conditions?
Seventy-three degree weather is waiting in San Antonio
along with the opener of the ASA Late Model Challenge
Division.
Battle
of the Billboards
As Mother Natures sky show diminished by mid-morning
I was left to rely on the billboards along the highway
for my entertainment. Forty-seven miles worth of Merrimac
Caverns billboards convinced me that this would be a great
place to stop. Hey if it was good enough for Jesse James
to use as a hideout it might come in handy for me to escape
my critics someday too! But just when I was ready to award
the Battle of the Billboards title to Merrimac Caverns,
fifty-two miles worth of Branson Coupons billboards trumped
the caverns! Speaking of Branson, this must be where old
comics go when no one else wants them any more. There
was a Yahkov Smirnoff sighting!
 So
Tempting to Visit
It was a horrible shame that my schedule is so tight
during this trip because I had to by-pass two of the most
amazing tourist attractions to be found in the great state
of Missouri. Finishing third in the Battle of the Billboard
was the Original Walnut Bowl Outlet! This is troubling
news that additional Walnut Bowl Outlets have popped up
all over the USA forcing the Original one to identify
itself as such. WOW…Walnut Bowls in every shape and
size! I fought the temptation to stop and pick up some
much-needed Walnut Bowlery for my humble abode. But that
wasn't all folks…just up the road from the Original
Walnut Bowl Outlet is Barrels of Fun. What is Barrels
of Fun? It's the worlds most impressive wooden barrel
factory. Nothing says FAMILY FUN like watching wooden
barrels being made! Maybe next time I can allow more time
to work these amazing tourist destinations into my plans.
Oklahoma
is Training Stunt Drivers
Up until today I was convinced that drivers in and
around Knoxville, Tennessee were the worst drivers in
the world. Upon further review that award now goes to
the great state of Oklahoma! But the driver of the Sooner
Schooner state can't help it; the state highway department
is responsible. On the Will Rogers Turnpike every once
in a while the state has installed these little stunt
ramps along the left lane. As the  howling
winds took a Fed Ex tuck out of the right lane and into
my path I eased my way to the left utilizing the median
for just a few moments. I soon encountered one of these
goofy ramp-like things and did my best imitation of the
Joie Chitwood Stunt Drivers! I know the state has to have
cameras planted to watch people freak out when they hit
these things. Otherwise they would have no good use known
to mankind. It is also fitting that you have to pay for
the privilege of driving this nutty road; hitting one
of those ramp-like things was an "E Ticket"
ride all the way!
Final
Laps
Does the state of Oklahoma have to pay the estate
of Will Rodgers a commission from every toll for using
his name?
Why
is the world's largest McDonalds located in the middle
of nowhere in Oklahoma? Do they have a lunch rush that
includes everyone within 500 miles?
Was
it just a coincidence that my right contac got blurry
when I was driving on the Edwin Hubble Memorial highway?
Pit
Stop for Day One: Ardmore, Oklahoma
Best Western-Clean and comfy this is the place to stay
if your travels ever take you to Ardmore.
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